Exploration and Trust
"You are too afraid."
FILLING IN THE BACKGROUND
Some years ago, Sakhara, who was being kept indoors all the time, told me that "I can't be healthy if I'm kept inside. I need to be outside a bit. I'll just stay around the house and yard, but I can't do my job unless I go out." Her job, as she defined it, was to keep the yard a safe place. She had assigned herself this task, despite Hattie, the feral cat, living in and patrolling the back yard.
That was when I began letting Sakhara go out for short periods of time. She never went off the property. She would circumnavigate the house, eat some grass and vomit (a feline form of digestive cleansing), and come back in after a short while or just sit on the back stoop.
We humans have come to believe that the outside world is dangerous for cats. I'm sure you and I could provide Sakhara and each other with a very long list of the dangers, so I won't bother listing them here. Sakhara had lived outside as a young cat before coming to me. I've seen her face down a dog who ran into the back yard while she was there, and the dog turned and ran away quickly.
The first time I let Sakhara outside, Hattie took her on a tour of the wooded area behind my house, which really isn't very large. There's an enormous tobacco field behind where lots of wild animals roam. Hattie and Sakhara stayed within view of me and the house. It was fascinating to watch as Hattie was clearly showing Sakhara around.
So Sakhara has continued to spend very brief, supervised times in the yard staying near the house or lying in the grass near the house.
Which brings us to yesterday, and Sakhara's lesson.
Sakhara took a tour around the house and then suddenly began to run into the wooded area where there are mostly dead leaves right now, branches and trunks of fallen trees, and hardly any green growth. Where, I wondered, was Sakhara going?
As Sakhara continued to move further and further away from the yard into the woods, I called her and asked her to come back. She didn't even look my way. "Spring fever?" I wondered.
Sakhara is probably 18 years old and very unfit. You can be worldly wise, but if you're unfit with clipped claws, you won't be able to run very far or very fast or climb a tree easily, either. I reminded Sakhara of this telepathically, but she ignored me.
Finally, I could hardly even see her. Her lovely coat blends in with the color of last year's leaves. Like a big cat disappearing into the grasses of the African savannas, Sakhara become nearly invisible to my eyes.
Since the time I had available to sit in the yard was over, there was nothing to do except go inside, be patient, and trust that she'd be in soon, as I had requested.
Of course, my human fear had arisen, and I was already muttering under my breath about how I'd have to keep Sakhara in now that she suddenly had developed a desire to wander around.
In no more than 10 minutes Sakhara appeared at the back door. I let her in and she proceeded to walk through the house, ignoring me completely. Later last night, she offered this lesson.
You are too afraid -- too fearful -- fear filled. You can't explore and grow in that state/space. You hold yourself back and all of us cats back with your fear.
You are not on Earth to curl up into a fetal position and hide. You are here to explore. Uncurl yourself, open your eyes, and look around. The world is an exciting place/space to explore. It is calling out to you all the time -- enticing -- exhilarating.
Yes, there is "danger" -- but it wouldn't be exciting without a bit of possibility - choices.
This requires trusting yourself -- trusting us, too. Trusting Source, too.
Use your feeling sense to decide what and when and whom to trust. Instead of holding back, FEEL your way through to the Truth of Trusting that all is in perfection -- perfect order and design.
Sniff it out. Human noses really need an upgrade. Your noses are too weak and your eyes and ears are also paltry. But your ability to feel is just awakening. Use it -- instead of going to panic and worry immediately. OPEN to FEELING. Create a new habit of greater awareness.
I was safe in the woods today. I wasn't going far. I was excited and delighted by the smells. Sure, I'm not a fit, young cat in body, but you didn't allow for the wisdom and skill of my years. Instead, you just got angry/fearful and that wasn't helpful or productive.
You can't boss me around. I'm a free being, as you are. Get a grip! on yourself.
With that, Sakhara walked away.